Personal Space.
Acts as a kind of portable enclave we carry with us wherever we go. I feel like personal space only exists in America. We Americans like our personal space, it's something we try to control and manipulate and when we don't have it, we have an issue. I used to get so annoyed waiting in line somewhere and the person behind me would be inch closer and closer to me. It's uncomfortable and makes me almost anxious. We are so fast paced in America and can't get something quick enough. In line while the person behind me got closer and closer I would think "just because you stand closer to me doesn't mean you're going to get there any faster." I like to be intimate with the people I like and know well, not the guy standing behind me in line to get a smoothie.
I traveled to Europe a few years ago and realized personal space doesn't really exist there. Taking public transportation or waiting in line at a café, you are close to everyone around you it's unavoidable. But there you can embrace the culture and soak it all in. In America you could start a fight if you bump in to the wrong person at the wrong place.
We establish these barriers but not everyone respects them or notices them. When you first meet someone you shake their hand. After you have spent some time together a hug may be the next step. But the key is to be able to recognize someone's personal space and interpret their behavior towards you as well as others. We give off nonverbal clues all the time, our body language, facial expressions etc. and granted some people are oblivious to these clues which is why we set up our own personal bubble.
You don't want your space invaded so don't invade someone else's. I went to my first yoga class a few weeks ago and didn't really know what to expect, the class was filling up but we all had enough room to engage in the posses. About ten minutes after the class started a woman came in late, couldn't find a space so we wedged herself between me and another woman. I was completely turned off because not only was my space being invaded but at one point her bare foot, un-manicured toes pressed up against my leg. I was thinking "seriously...gross." She didn't apologize and left the class early disrupting all those she hustled passed. To me personal space falls under the same category as respect. Establish your own boundaries and personal space but don't forget that others do the same.
Hey!!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the part in your post about traveling abroad and learning that Europeans, especially, do not have a concept of personal space. When I was living in Barcelona, it was so interesting to observe how people acted in "line forming" situations.
For example, while shopping at the grocery store, when I went to wait in line, I (like every other American) chose one checker, and waited in that "line". However, Spanish do not form anything even remotely resembling a "line". It's more of a mass of people, each of which know their place in line, or assume they know. This particular trip, two elderly people in front of me in this mass, got in a heated argument over who was next. Though there was so structure to prove who was next, each though they were.
This cultural difference relates closely to what you were saying about personal space. Norms and customs are something formed through culture, and when those norms are broken, we become blatantly aware of them. Even recognizing the difference, in this case line formation, and in your case, personal space, it does not always mean we can adapt to those learned cultural norms.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi,
ReplyDeleteIts so funny how we americans feel about our personal space. One time i was helping customers in line at my work, and as this lady was trying to order her drink, another lady came up very close to her to look at the candies and things that were directly in front of the customer i was helping. I thought it was strange but the woman i was helping got really upset and rudely said "Excuse me!" The other lady backed off, and when it was her turn at the register she didn't speak english. It was then clear to me that she had no idea that what she was doing would be considered invasive by an american who is very possessive of their personal space. I also felt sorry for the non english speaking lady that the person she can a confrontation with about it was so rude to her. She was a really nice lady.
-Lars