Pattern Play

I believe that the symmetrical pattern would be one of the most difficult patterns the change given the fact that neither partner continuously makes the decision. The symmetrical pattern seems the most common, and I believe the one I would prefer. Equally deciding what to do and how to do it seems more natural to me. Yes, it can get tricky when neither person gives a definite answer but I would rather participate in that than always making the decisions or never being able to. I think in order for relationships to be successful each partner needs to put in the same amount of effort.

The competitive symmetry I feel would be the most damaging to a relationship. The description alone states one-up and one-down, meaning one partner will always make the decisions while the other just follows along. This can be very detrimental to a relationship if the partner in the one-down position argues or goes against what the other has chosen. This can lead to fights, hurt feelings and other complications within the relationship. Both positions are equally challenging because the one-up is required to make the decision, which some decisions can be very difficult to make. While the one-down has to stand by their partners decision even if it is the wrong one or one they don't agree with. Both roles seem very tiring.


The submissive symmetry pattern I think would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individual who is chosen to be the one-down partner. Always having a dominant and submissive role sounds exhausting. However, always being on the bottom without making a single decision can be very harmful. If you cannot make decisions in your relationship how can you make other decisions about your life? Pretty soon you will have to ask your significant other what you can and can't have for dinner or what shoes to wear. I think that in becoming a submissive you could lose the gift of thinking for yourself. It doesn't matter if the man or woman is in the dominant/submissive position, because I think in order to have a successful relationship each partner needs to hold a piece of their own in both positions.