I mentioned an initial attraction will capture my attention and I think that's important, if I find you attractive I will invest more into the conversation or be more open to even have a conversation. I think the same goes for a lot of people. If we find someone attractive we will walk up to them and begin a conversation, within that conversation we learn a little bit about that person and make a more educated assessment of the potential partnership we may or may not start together.
The pre interaction characteristics I use to eliminate potential partners is their nonverbal behavior along with their look(s) and the way they carry themselves. If you are sitting alone with a crappy look on your face, dressed down and lazy... I'm probably not going to engage in a conversation with you. One because you are probably having a bad day, two the look on your face is making you appear unapproachable and three, if you look lazy... You probably are. But realistically, that person could be incredibly interesting and a lot of fun to be around... they may just be having a really, really bad day. But my first impression of you wasn't the best, therefore before we even interact I've already made a decision.
Moving forward if I am already participating in a conversation with you the cognitive cues are critical. Does the conversation matter? Yes and no, depending once again (in my opinion) on our environment. In a bar, probably not haha it's hard to have a meaningful conversation in a bar the first time you're meeting someone. I don't feel it's appropriate to have a deep conversation or to disclose specific information to someone you have just met. But I don't think that's a bad thing, it's light-hearted and fun, flirty and endearing. Flirting is important, it shows interest and complements each partner equally. If you are having a good time, and the other person is making you feel good then it's a good thing! Haha Enjoy it, if the romantic relationship doesn't spark then it doesn't matter because you could have made a new friend and I don't think a person can have too many friends.
The pre interaction characteristics I use to eliminate potential partners is their nonverbal behavior along with their look(s) and the way they carry themselves. If you are sitting alone with a crappy look on your face, dressed down and lazy... I'm probably not going to engage in a conversation with you. One because you are probably having a bad day, two the look on your face is making you appear unapproachable and three, if you look lazy... You probably are. But realistically, that person could be incredibly interesting and a lot of fun to be around... they may just be having a really, really bad day. But my first impression of you wasn't the best, therefore before we even interact I've already made a decision.
Moving forward if I am already participating in a conversation with you the cognitive cues are critical. Does the conversation matter? Yes and no, depending once again (in my opinion) on our environment. In a bar, probably not haha it's hard to have a meaningful conversation in a bar the first time you're meeting someone. I don't feel it's appropriate to have a deep conversation or to disclose specific information to someone you have just met. But I don't think that's a bad thing, it's light-hearted and fun, flirty and endearing. Flirting is important, it shows interest and complements each partner equally. If you are having a good time, and the other person is making you feel good then it's a good thing! Haha Enjoy it, if the romantic relationship doesn't spark then it doesn't matter because you could have made a new friend and I don't think a person can have too many friends.
I get what you are saying completely. I think that environment does have a lot to do with choosing a potential partner. If you are in an uncomfortable situation, often times you just want out! You don’t want to be around those people and you don’t really want to interact. If you are in an environment that you feel more comfortable in, you are more prone to interact and want to be around those people, opening up conversation and potentially meeting someone that you could be attracted to. I think that in order to feel comfortable with a partner you should want to meet them in a place where you felt comfortable not so much somewhere that made you feel awkward.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! =)